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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
. Always at the expense of. ]
"A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance."
-- Anatole France
Isn't it almost like saying "A happy person knows only this much."
We always only know this much, don't we? Microscopic, narrow-eyed tweets, looking at the world with rose-tinted glasses, thinking that everything's good and has its place. That's why the quote is so true. But "never" is such an absolute term. It's almost like trading knowledge for happiness. Maybe it's not all true that happiness can only be attained at the expense of knowledge. Maybe you can be the wisest, most all-knowing person in the world, and yet be really happy. Who knows? Then maybe it'll show that the world is really in fact such a wonderful place. Or maybe it's just a matter of attitude. So many maybes. Who cares. I'm going back and forth like a pinball again. Caught up in my musings.
But I guess being ignorant kinda has its merit. The quote probably means being ignorant of all the bad stuff. If we don't know the bad stuff in life and don't experience them, then probably yes, life would be a bed of roses -- minus the thorns. How nice. But then again, if we don't experience the bad stuff, how much would we appreciate the good? Ok, I'm beginning to think that's a bad quote. Except that it makes me think. So, in a way, it's quite a good quote. Dammit. I'm going round in circles again.
I just think that we're always doing stuff at the expense of some other stuff. And it's like, why can't we have the cake and eat it too? I hate having to make choices. You keep making them. And what happens if you make the wrong choices? What ifs, what ifs. I don't like making choices. Just smack life into my face and I'll take it. Happy or not happy. Ignorant or not ignorant. Whatever. I think I love to make things difficult for myself. Can you see I'm a grumbling idiot. Haha. No, it's not the time of the month.
I'm just a little freaked by the big 21. No big deal, I know. Just a stupid number. Haha. But I just feel like I'm doing something at the expense of some other thing. I don't know what is the something and the some other thing yet. When I've figured that out, maybe some things will make more sense.
School's good and tuition's good. Church's good too. I think I'm enjoying myself.
Chinese New Year is coming. So many things have changed. 2005 is so not 2004. Right.
Ok, enough. I'm beginning to feel like I'm blogging in the middle of the night at the expense of my sanity.
Good day. =)
i blogged today at 3:10 pm
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